I taught a class last year at the National Youthworkers Convention in San Diego called Six Degrees of Saturation: Making Your Ministry Deeply Personal. It was all about how to connect with students and how the youth worker needs to stay connected to God if he wants to create an environment that is relational. Over this week I will share some of the videos, thoughts, quotes and notes from my seminar. Here is the first quote:
“Two main enemies of the spiritual life are anger and greed. Anger in general seems close to a professional vice in the contemporary ministry. It is a frozen anger, an anger which settles into a biting resentment and slowly paralyzes a generous heart. If there is anything that makes the ministry look grim and dull, it is the dark, insidious anger in the servants of God.” -Henri Nouwen from The Way of the Heart
The theme for the week was storyline, is anger or greed messing up the storyline that God is trying to tell through your life?
Well not really THE A-Team with Mr.T, but this picture is of the amazing guys I did ministry with in Florida. It was taken the night before I moved back to the Burgh and we gathered at Buffalo Wild Wings to tell stories, laugh, drink some beers (well, I had an Ice Tea) and to also give all of us a chance to say some very cool things to each other. These are the men who had the most impact on my life in Tampa and for their friendship and partnership I am eternally grateful.
Everyone in ministry needs a group like this around them. They each brought something different to my life and to the ministry we did together, so let me introduce them to you going around the circle to the left from me (the blonde guy front left).
Tommy Shelton-The youth guy. A great teacher, lover of students and a creative genius. Tommy and I in many ways are kindred spirits. He was a volunteer in the high school ministry, one of those people who you are just thrilled to have around. Lover of students and all things media. I think I did some of the coolest, funniest and meaningful stuff I have ever done in youth ministry with Tommy(some are posted on this blog). What I appreciate most about him is his passionate love for Jesus, the Word and movies! Tommy is also very loyal and supported me personally in so many ways and is a true friend, I wish I could convince him to come to Pittsburgh. I hope you have a guy like this on your ministry team.
Gene Cowherd- The rockstar. Gene and I came on staff at the church we worked at two weeks apart from each other. Gene never worked in the youth ministry, but always supported us in meaningful ways. He is a genius at all things tech and rock and roll. He has a BONO heart for the world and little patience for Christian bullcrap. One thing I love about Gene is he is more comfortable around non-Christian people than most Christians. I had so many great conversations with Gene (and his dad) and we could just vent to each other about how church was so often far from Jesus. Gene is a truth-teller, a deep thinker and a good friend. He was always so encouraging after I preached in BIG church. Do you have someone like this in your life?
Jason Nelson- The worship leader. Jason came to the church shortly after me through a connection we made at his church in Georgia. Jason brought life and relevance to our BIG church worship. He was not in the youth ministry but he led for a couple of our youth events. Jason for me is a guy I could always laugh with, and we did a lot of that. He was such an encouragement to me and also a truth-teller. When you got Gene, myself and Jason together it was a beautiful disaster! Jason has a heart for worship and is a hard worker. Who in your ministry draws people into God's presence?
Brian Maeda- The firefigher. Brian is awesome. One of the most genuine people that you would ever meet. He is just real. He is a new Christian, and not a perfect one, and that is what I love about him. He thinks I am pretty square by the way. Brian was a volunteer and in the short time he was in the youth ministry did a great job connecting with kids. He wasn't afraid to be totally himself and students loved that. If I ever had to go to war, Brian is a guy I would want next to me, and not just because he is a paramedic. Thanks for that IV, it was a lifesaver! Brian is also one of the loyalest guys I have met, if he is for you he is truly for you. Do you have a Brian as a friend?
Steve Miller- The sandwich guy. That is how I first got to know Steve because he owned a couple of Subways. Steve also was a rather new Christian and was a first time youth volunteer. Steve also is so genuine, real and authentic. He is so teachable which made him a great volunteer. He also just jumped in full blast, with Steve if he is going to do something he does it all the way. He and I have become great friends and I truly value his friendship. He has a huge heart for Jesus, social justice and using his life for things that matter. We had many long talks about such things and I was truly blessed. Miss ya, Man. Who in your life do you have long, deep talks with?
Sam Maihack-The pastor- Sam was a pastor on our staff, and he did that in such a cool way. He served and supported people, he rarely ever preached but his life was always a message. I can't tell you how much Sam supported me in my last year in Tampa through words and rides to the airport! He was a true friend and listening ear. Sam loves connecting people, building community and a good party and I see Jesus in him all the time. He has a quiet, reflective spirit about him and is also a truth-teller. He is just plain fun to be around. Who is a person in your life that supports you not for what you can do for them just simply because they care?
So there they are, hope this post challenged you to surround yourself with a gang like this. In fact "I PITY THE FOOL!" who doesn't seek people like this out.
It would be cool if this group of guys got together to do ministry again! Maybe someday.
Guys we need to all go on a MANCATION!
I would love to hear about your gang of guys or girls!
I recently finished The Chris Farley Show which is a look at the life of Chris Farley told through the voices of his friends, co-workers, family and SNL cast members. It is a difficult read, not due to the writing style but to the heart-wrenching story of Chris's downward spiral. Someone with so much talent and such a love for people yet a self-destructive bent and multiple strangling addictions.
The book is full of little tidbits that are entertaining such as one of Chris's best friends who is a priest, name is Matt Foley. Chris surprised Matt by naming The Motivational Speaker character after him. Also, did you know that Chris had a very deep faith in God and attended Mass a couple of times a week his entire life and even served in the church.
Yet, it wasn't these little factoids that moved me it was instead Chris's deep need to be loved. It was his desire to fit in, his awkwardness around women, his insecurities about his weight and how others saw him. He often felt like a side-show misfit, a lonely Jester looking for just one more laugh.
One of his often-spoken lines was "Everybody loves it when fatty falls down.". He would speak this after doing something stupid. Inside he hated what he did for laughs, but found himself intentionally playing to what others wanted to see him do. Chris's story dances between tragic, hilarious, hopeful, strung-out, manic, and hopeful with such grace and contradiction that it was very engaging to me. I kept rooting for a different end, sadly knowing where this story would reach it's conclusion.
This book holds alot of youth ministry lessons, life lessons in general, let me share a few.
The deadliness of denial & avoidance- Chris's entire family had a drinking problem, especially his father. Yet it was always sugar-coated, laughed off and ignored. In fact his family did that with every problem they faced. The deflected problems with laughter instead of dealing with them in truth. The results were catastrophic. Are we teaching students to live in the truth no matter how painful that initially is?
Kids need for their father's approval- Everything Chris did was to please his father. He never really felt he was good enough, always wondering about his father's love and we have kids going down that same road. How unconditional is our love for them?
Grace must abound- Once Chris's brothers confronted his drinking and drug problems they strapped into the roller-coaster ride that is a recovering addict. Chris was in and out of rehab over 30 times, even being sober for over a year at one point only to ultimately fail again and again. Are we willing to walk with kids through life and watch them fail repeatedly?
Faith is messy-I believe Chris was a believer, his theology was bad, he was incredibly flawed and broken, but he was the type of person Jesus would have loved hanging out with. Our paths will cross with many students whose faith is as thin as the dialogue in High School Musical, but it is still something. It's faith. How are we encouraging those students weak in faith?
I don't know where Chris is right now, that is not for me to judge but I would like to think that he is still a fool, a fool now for Christ. I know if he is in Heaven that Jesus has had a few laughs with him. I can see Chris asking Jesus, "Ahhh, do you remember that resurrection thing...............that was AWESOME!"
I leave you with two excerpts from the book written by Matt Foley(Chris' priest friend)
"Chris and I would sit and talk all night. He would ask me about God, about faith. His biggest questions always related to his struggles with evil, with his addictions. Drugs were Satan, to Chris. Fighting that took a lot out of him."
"He saw his talent as a gift from God--there's no doubt about that. I went away to seminary after his freshman year, but one thing I found fascinating about him in those two semesters was that he had a tremendous faith life, devoted and disciplined. He was not evangelical; he didn't preach about it, but it was something in the fiber of his soul. At Marquette, there's the Joan of Arc Chapel, this beautiful chapel brought over stone by stone from Europe, and they have daily mass. Inevitably, you would find Chris there, disheveled and partied out and just sort of scruffy. There is not a doubt in my mind that he was in church more than any other student on that campus, at least three or four times a week."
We do ourselves a huge disservice as youth workers when we think we are the primary spiritual voice in the life of our teenagers. That distinction belongs to their parents. They will most likely follow in the spiritual footsteps of their parents, not that this make us irrelevant but it does put us in our place. I am not diminishing what we do, just putting it in context, and yes for some students we will be their "parent" when it comes to the things of God. I have seen far to many arrogant youth workers who won't work with parents or support parents. In these times we must find ways to love and encourage the parents of our students, this will not only change the families and students that we serve but it will change us.
A few years ago I started a website/blog for parents of teens. I have recently updated it and offer it to you as a resource. Whether your a parent of a teen, youth leader or just want to pass this site on to someone who is, I hope it is a blessing to you.
Feel free to give the address to all of the parents in your youth ministry or create a similar site and steal some articles from this one.
Gotta admit it was quite a thrill for me to be approached by YouthWorker Journal to write an article based off of a seminar that I had been teaching at the National Youth Workers Convention for the past couple of years called "Communicating with Gandalf" or Jack Bauer's Youth Ministry". The seminar is about using pop culture to teach students about truth and helping them interact with pop culture. They asked me to narrow the focus of the article for the magazine to just TV, but I still think it came out good. The online version of the article is slightly different than the printed version and it can be found
"In the entirety of my teen years, I never can remember a pastor or youth worker helping me process this TV world I was immersed in, this Technicolor smorgasbord I was consuming. I remember hearing often about the evils of television and how it had rotted our brains, yet no one taught me how to interact with it or practice discernment while viewing it. And, heaven forbid, no one actually utilized it in ministry.
Fast forward to 2008. TV is now downloadable, available on DVDs, rentable, TiVo-able, and even streamable on your cell. The way we and our students digest TV has drastically changed. You could even make a case that, with the rise of the Internet and new media, TV’s influence in a teen’s life has declined. Yet the question remains: Can TV effectively be used in ministry? If so, how?
Can we learn something, even find stories filled with redemption and truth, from the likes of 24, Lost, Ugly Betty, Desperate Housewives, or even Battlestar Galactica? (The new one, not the ’80s version!)
What lessons do Jack Bauer and Dwight Schrute have to teach our students?"
It is hard to believe all that has changed in my life since I last posted to this blog. New baby on the way, new job, new city, and a whole bunch of new friends and many old ones. It has been quite a journey that has landed us back in the Burgh. If you choose to read this blog on a regular basis I promise to upkeep it and hopefully bring you some entertaining and helpful content. So to new readers I say "Welcome" and to old readers who have found their way here once again I say "Hello old friend, how about a pint!"
There are so many reasons to be pumped for this movie. The buzz is great, the haunting performance by Heath Ledger, Two-Face, THE BATMAN and the chance to wipe the bad taste out of my mouth that Indiana Jones left. I will definitely be there at midnight. Wanna come along?
This also got me thinking about the top five superhero movies I have seen so here goes.
1. Spider-Man 2 (2004)- Of course it would be Spider-Man for me. The train scene set this movie apart. Captured the REAL Spidey!
2. Iron Man(2008)-Robert Downey Jr. pulls off a perfect Tony Stark. This movie is witty and full of action and suspense.
3. Batman Begins (2005)-Washed the taste away of the last batman debacle with George Clooney. Christian Bale is awesome.
4. X-Men 2 (2003)-This is a great movie, opening scene with Nightcrawler is a cool ride.
5. Superman 2 (1980)-This is the first superohero movie I really remember. It had those three bad guys from the spinning mirror thingie!
I would love to have you comment on my list and love to see yours.
See you at the theater!
Mark
June 25, 2008
The Legend of Angus and Barry
This video is a great moment with one of my good buddies Tommy Shelton. What happens when you put a scottish knight together with a nerd and what demented minds would even think that up! The setting was our Spring retreat in 2006 and this was the funny skit that ran all weekend. Premise is Barry the nerd goes to camp to find his true love, Michelle that he has met on E-Harmony but has never seen. But before they meet he needs a little help from a Scotsman! Enjoy
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