Returning to The Pub

I started the Jester's Pub back on July 31, 2005. That is nearly 8 years ago. How life has changed. I had no children when I began this blog, I lived in Tampa Florida and I had only been married for a little over three years. I started this blog (many people didn't even know what that was in 2005) to have a forum to talk about ministry, life and culture. To share things that insterested me, perplexed me, inspired me and hopefully through words I could add a little bit of value to someone's day, life or ministry.

It was to also capture in someway what I had experienced for years in a little bar in Ambridge called Rooks. It was there that I gathered weekly with a group of other pastors for drinks, wings, a hearty steak salad (with extra cheese), great discussions and a whole lot of laughter. It was a gathering of a group of "misfit toys", people who were simply "fools" or Jesters if you will for Christ. It was a refuge from the busy, often demanding life in ministry. I miss those days. Marriage came, Kids came, people moved away and that group disbanded. Mind you not from being friends, but from that weekly meeting. I guess that is just how life is. Nothing lasts forever.

If you know me, you also know that the last eight months have been beyond painful. Without going into detail it has been devestating on all fronts both personally, relationally and professionally. This time has made me question everything I believe in and my calling, strained some friendships, saw lies and exaggerations turned into truth, had people judge me and abandon me without knowing the facts, and I've tearfully asked "Where are you God?" in the midst of pain over and over again. There have also been amazing people who have loved me, prayed with me and spoke truth and sought reconciliaton.

I am still holding out hope on many fronts and will not give up on my family especially on my three children and their greatest wish which is an intact family. Honestly, I don't know who will read this and if you read this and your a person who has some "problem" with me or you think you know my story I challenge you to realize first and foremost I am just a person like you who needs grace and mercy. I have made tons of mistakes im life, mistakes that are not I'm sure unlike yours. I would also challenge you to talk to me directly instead of listening to someone else talk about me. Isn't that Biblically what you should do? Isn't that what you would want from me? If your a Christian shouldn't you always seek the truth and reconciliation? I have heard hundreds of people's stories over the last 23 years of ministry, and in all that time I never judged I only sought to help and share the grace of Jesus no matter what was going on in their lives. I will do that for you and I hope you will return the same.

The purpose of this blog hasn't changed. It will still be a place to share thoughts on life, culture, ministry and complete randomness. I like random. I am sure at times it will be deeper and darker than it ever was before. When you are in the season that I am in, it is unavoidable. My hope is in those momentts I can somehow walk alongside you and you with me through life that is often filled with pain and disillusionment. I have avoided writing much of anything in any forum for the last eight months because the pain was just too great. I am hoping that this blog in some way will be part of the healing. I am still addicted to the idea of REDEMPTION.

The last post I wrote was on August 16, 2010. It was simply a quote from Henri Nouwen. I repost it now to open the doors to the Jester's Pub once again.

“At the core of my faith belongs the conviction that we are the beloved sons and daughters of God. And one of the enormous spiritual tasks we have is to claim that and to live a life based on that knowledge. And that’s not very easy. In fact most of us fail constantly to claim the truth of who we are.” – Henri Nouwen

Comments

[Darlene Grieco]

I too, am addicted to REDEMPTION. It is the story and song of our Mighty God. Lifting your kids highest wish up daily! Amen, brother.

[Tinamarielivinonlove.blogspot.com]

What a great quote. I know that some people think having faith in God will mean thier life will all the sudden be perfect and wonderful...but a relationship with God takes work and sometimes I dont always do what God wants. In turn, it draws me closer to HIM. Without failing, how can I be redeemed by the one who loves me most? Thank you for posting and being a reminder of how much WE ALL need God in our lives.

[Alexander Wilhelmsen]

As I PMed you via Facebook, your restart is upon my birthday and my already bittersweet and crazy last year of my 20s.

I can't exactly relate to what's going on with you in terms of mirroring your story, and I have no idea truly what's going on. Beyond trying to piece it together in my own mind. The only other commentary was pretty much "no idea what's going on, but it can't be good."

I do know that I have had my own share of "where do I go from here?" over the last year or so and trying to sort it out. It's nothing compared to your story, as it is now, but I am looking to better days. As I wrote among my comments catching up on the old posts, I've worked directly with a lot of people that I can't live their lives and I don't, but I can understand pain and trying to do the right things.

I do find it funny that the first "24" movie (between Seasons 6 and 7) was called "Redemption" and dealt with Jack seeking to do the right thing and have peace while serving at an orphanage, only to be pulled back into the fray.

On "deeper and darker," heck, it's being honest. People like people who are brave enough to go there.

In the time between the last post and this one, I FINALLY read "Blue Like Jazz" straight through this last fall, and I think one of the things that resonated with everyone that's read that book is that it's Donald Miller telling it like it is. That's probably why you've resonated with me and the other pastor I've admired is that you are both honest about yourselves, God, faith, and life.

Florida is called the Sunshine State, but we never forget that we're also home to a regular diet of hurricanes and rainstorms and humidity. None of those are that comfortable. Thing is, it's honest, it's life.

Anyways, the Andy Ritcher to your Conan O'Brien, the David Spade to your Chris Farley, the Cal Noughton Jr. to your Ricky Bobby is back to "Shake and Bake" in the comments section, if it's okay with you.

I could use it myself and I miss it. Not to mention, maybe some others will enjoy it and I hope they'll get involved in the conversation.

This is doing something I loved and have missed and I hope it'll be a blessing for both of us. I don't know how you'll read me tonally, it should be different, but what will be maintained is the honesty and hopefully some humor that I brought back in the older days.

I think when a person is sick and there's nothing you can do to heal them, you can comfort, care, and be there.

I have no idea how I can help directly, but hey, how many stories have you read in The Bible and seen in life where people beyond hope and redemption are brought all the way back. You're not there, but I believe you know what I mean.

Welcome Back!