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Car Wash Suffering

The other day myself and the three kids were out driving and as we approached a car wash the kids erupted in the back "Wash Car Dad! Wash Car!" Just so you know the kids have always called it "Wash Car" and we just never really corrected them, so it is still "Wash Car". So I pulled in and they were very excited. Windows up, doors shut for the Supreme $9 wash. All was well, except with Jacob my nearly 2 year old. He was tentative as we entered the wash car...I mean car wash, and as soon as the soap covered all the windows, the cautious look on his face, was replaced by a sad face, which then went to a crying face filled with sheer terror. We are only 20 seconds into the car wash!

No matter what I did to try and calm him or distract him, he wasn't buying it. Tears were streaming down his face as his brother and sister tried to consol him. He then started to say with his very limited vocabulary  "All done, All done" over and over again, trying to will this evil from continuing, to end his personal apocalypse. It was heartbreaking but there was nothing I could do. It was also the first time I had ever heard him say those two words together, so I knew he was serious. If I would have captured this with my phone I could have gone viral.

He only stopped when the windshield cleared and he could see outside, then he just said one word, "Go!". He wanted out of there more than Andy Dufrane wanted out of Shawshank!

As we drove away I began to reflect on the last ten months of my life and all of the suffering and pain that has invaded it. I am still not sure what it has taught me except that I knew nothing about real pain and suffering until this time. I had been around it for so many years as a pastor but somehow felt shielded or seperated from it like I had miraculously managed to walk between those raindrops.

Suffering really makes no sense to me, and has at times left my faith as dry as a piece of bread left in the sun. Yet I keep crawling back to that same faith, that same God looking for answers. Many people have done this in history, searching for an answer to what I believe is a question that nobody has really ever truly answered and probably never will. Talk to Job, see if he was satisfied with what he got or many of the people I have walked with thru tradgedies and heartbreak.

C.S Lewis wrote in A Grief Observed:

"Meanwhile, where is God? . . . When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him . . . if you remember yourself and turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be — or so it feels — welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence. You may as well turn away. The longer you wait, the more emphatic the silence will become . . ."

I could throw scripture out at this moment, because I'm a pastor and isn't that what we are supposed to do? End this post with some piece of Biblical wisdom that will wrap a nice bow around the pile of garbage. I could try to turn this season of suffering into something that fits into a nice flowery Hallmark card  or an annoying refrigerator magnet or give you some theology of this broken world that makes it all logical.

But I won't, I will just say "All Done, All Done."

Experiencing The Impossible

I recently watched the movie The Impossible. It is a powerful film that follows the incredible true story of a family of five swept up in the Thailand Tsunami of 2004. It stars Naomi Watts and Ewan McGregor and Tom Holland (whose performance is amazing) as the oldest son in the family. The Tsunami scenes are chilling, overwhelming and devestating. Most of the people describe the tsunami not as a wave but as a wall and you really get that feel in the movie. You sense the helplessness of a family ripped apart by the waves and desperately searching for each other in the midst of chaos.

The scenes with both parents at different points in the movie willing to do anything to get to their children, even when badly hurt themsleves is moving. Relentlessly searching, simply with fragile hope that there is still life. I found my self with tears in my eyes over and over again.

Equally as powerful are the multiple scenes of reunions between people, once thought lost forever and dead but now found.

Reminds me of another story.

One about two sons. One son caught up in a tsunami of selfishness. Destruction.

A story about a broken-hearted Father.Willing to do anything to get to his son.

A Father who would suffer anything for love. A Father wounded deeply.

A story of coming Home. The lost being found. An unexpected reunion. A long embrace. Tears of joy. 

A raging party

The words, "Come celebrate for your brother who was once dead is now alive!"

It's our story, It's God's story, it's our story with God and it's beautiful.

It's the Impossible made possible. 

It's Grace.

 

The Death of the Ragamuffin

 

Many writers have affected my walk with Jesus over the last twenty three years, not many more profoundly then Brennan Manning. I picked up the book The Ragamuffin Gospel as a young pastor and Christian and it helped me in so many ways move away from the legalism and self-righteousness that still lived in corners of my heart. Those pesky things had been a part of the Christianity that I grew up with (not from my family) and I saw them practiced by some in my church community. Brennan's words helped dry up those dirty pools.

 Manning died on April 12 and an amazing voice both in preaching and print went silent. His death was mostly ignored even in Christian culture, which was surprising. If you haven't exposed your heart to Brennan Manning I hope that you will pick up one of his numerous books or listen to some of his teachings online. I think you will find that God speaks to you through Brennan reminding you that you are God's child, deeply loved even in the midst of being deeply flawed. You will discover a Jesus, maybe for the first time, who has pursued you for your entire life. You will find in Brennan's writings over and over again the God of the broken, the wounded, the seeekers, and the lost.

Some Brennan Manning Quotes:

“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion.” 

“The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians: who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.” 

“I want neither a terrorist spirituality that keeps me in a perpetual state of fright about being in right relationship with my heavenly Father nor a sappy spirituality that portrays God as such a benign teddy bear that there is no aberrant behavior or desire of mine that he will not condone. I want a relationship with the Abba of Jesus, who is infinitely compassionate with my brokenness and at the same time an awesome, incomprehensible, and unwieldy Mystery. ” 

“The gospel is absurd and the life of Jesus is meaningless unless we believe that He lived, died, and rose again with but one purpose in mind: to make brand-new creation. Not to make people with better morals but to create a community of prophets and professional lovers, men and women who would surrender to the mystery of the fire of the Spirit that burns within, who would live in ever greater fidelity to the omnipresent Word of God, who would enter into the center of it all, the very heart and mystery of Christ, into the center of the flame that consumes, purifies, and sets everything aglow with peace, joy, boldness, and extravagant, furious love. This, my friend, is what it really means to be a Christian.” 

The following video was made to promote Brennan's last book All Is Grace. It shows Brennan in his last days and a look back on his life.

 

 

All The Poor and Powerless

 

Have been enjoying some great worship here at the Exponential Conference. Our house band has been from a church in Boston called Reunion. They are doing an amazing job. I thought they were going to lift the roof off of the church today during Your love Never Fails with 5300 people singing. Amazing.

They introduced me to a song from a band called All Sons and Daughters titled All the Poor and the Powerless (video above). Beautiful song. Amazing Live.

Here are the lyrics:

All the poor and powerless
And all the lost and lonely
All the thieves will come confess
And know that You are holy
And know that You are holy

And all will sing out
Hallelujah
And we will cry out
Hallelujah
All the hearts who are content
And all who feel unworthy 
And all who hurt with nothing left
Will know that You are holy

And all will sing out
Hallelujah
And we will cry out
Hallelujah

Shout it
Go on scream it from the mountains
Go on and tell it to the masses
That He is God
We will sing out
Hallelujah
And we will cry out
Hallelujah

Where Orphans Dance

So I have decided to return to blogging after a seven month absence. For all those who read this blog faithfully and wondered where I went, I apologize. I have no good answer why I stopped, I just did. My recent trip to Haiti was what "shook" me back to a place where I feel like I have something to say.

Last week I joined a group of people from all over the United States for a week in Port-Au-Prince with the mission organization AIM (Adventures in Mission). I have been on many mission trips over the years (maybe with you) to Mexico and inner city and rural areas in the USA but this one was different in many ways. It not only shocked me but inspired me in new ways.

It would be easy to spend this blog post talking about the devastation that I saw in Haiti, there was plenty of it even six months after the quake. I could talk about the poverty, the deep poverty I saw, poverty unlike I have seen and smelt before. It is tangible and in your face in Haiti. Those were two very poignant realities in your vision each moment in Haiti.

But what I want to talk about is DANCING. Sound strange? Let me explain. One of the days on our trip we stopped by an orphanage that housed over 100 orphans, it is called Sons of God orphanage. These are children who not only survived a quake, survive poverty daily but also survive without parents. It would be hard to imagine people with harder lives than these children. Children living in a impoverished, devastated city and doing it all without parental or family support.

Our team went there to simply see the ministry and watch another team that was there. Well it is impossible to just watch! Our team jumped in by holding kids, taking pictures with them, coloring with them and whatever else. 

For some reason I found myself sitting back and just watching, watching with wonder all that was going on around me. One of the things I saw was JOY. There were smiles, laughter and play here in the midst of what could be a place filled with sorrow.

Then a holy moment arrived.

The other team there started a circle game where they sing a song, clap and one person in the middle pulls another into the circle to dance. The picture above is one taken during this event. I was sitting on a bench outside the circle watching this scene of merriment. Old dancing with young, white with black, orphans with missionaries and Americans with Haitians, It was a beautiful joyful scene.

 It was a picture of God's Kingdom. My father who was on the trip even danced! (Now that is a miracle and God's sense of humor!)

Then it hit me, a beautiful thought, and it brought tears to my eyes. The thought was: "The Kingdom of God is where orphans dance."

Wherever the Kingdom of God is, there is DANCING, even amongst orphans, those with no family and 1,000 reasons to live in despair can find hope and a reason to dance. When Kingdom people enter into places of despair the response is DANCING! The Kingdom of God brings new life and renews all things and the response is dancing, laughter and joy.

The same is true for all of us who know Christ. The scripture assures us that we were once orphans, lost, alone and fatherless until He came and claimed us as his own. He adopted us. He gave us a home. He called our name. Gave us a new name, His name.

If you know that truth, when is the last time it caused you to DANCE?